Characters - THE SPIDE

THE SPIDE

The SPIDE is a spider-like entity who left his solar system to visit earth for as of yet unknown reasons. On his journey, he was accompanied by his two associates Ray and Skweeg. Though more massive than a typical human, people are generally more annoyed by him rather than frightened.

While The SPIDE cannot speak in a way that is intelligle to humans, he is capable of communicating via telepathic imagery. While his two companions also have this ability, they prefer communicating in other ways.

At some point, The SPIDE became alarmed by the experiments performed at a corporation called DoucheTech (more on that later). It has been speculated that it reminded him of similar experiments performed in the world he came from.

Ray

Unlike The SPIDE, who has limited understanding of human nature, Ray seems to understand it all to well, particularly its more sleezy side. He is extremely crafty and unethical, always looking to swindle unsuspecting individuals.

Much to The SPIDE's distaste, Ray doesn't very much care about what they do at DoucheTech, as long as he could use them to make a quick buck.

Ray is the only one of the three SPIDEs who is capable of human speach.

Skweeg

Skweeg is the third member of The SPIDE's crew. Not much is known about him other than he can change color at will and jump like a motherfucker.

Although he shares the same ability to communicate via mental imagery as his two companions, he prefers to use web spinning to get his message across.

Sunday

Once upon a time, a beautiful Princess was in her chamber, making animals out of clay, one of which was a turtle that she named "Sunday". She then made a heart for Sunday, also out of clay, that was modeled on her own. In so doing, the Princess infused the heart with all the love, hate, compassion, frustration, curiosity, etc. that existed within her own heart. She then attached the heart to the top of Sunday's shell. Later that day, she gave Sunday to her Father as a gift. Her Father loved his gift, and the one who gave it to him, so much that he brought it to life.

As time went by, the Princess and her Father noticed that Sunday, who at first could easily fit in the palm of one's hand, was growing rapidly. Before long, Sunday was almost as big as the Princess who made her. They also realized that Sunday's heart had powers that arose from the powerful emotions it contained.

News of Sunday's heart, and the power it contained, spread quickly throughout the land. She was often approached by folks who (wrongly) believed that she could grant their wishes. Sunday didn't mind helping people, but it wasn't long before she realized that humanity was only interested in the "hate" part of her heart and not the "love". They wanted to use her as a weapon to help them fulfill their darker desires rather than as a peacemaker to bring people together.

Disillusioned, Sunday left to seek solitude in the hills between the forest and the sea. Here, she meditated on the nature of the world and its occupants.

After a long while, she was visited by what looked to be a spider, but was much too large, who asked her for her help. While normally she would refuse to help in such ways, after her meditations she came to the realization that there are problems in the world that simply cannot be solved by love and compassion.

Such problems require a somewhat stronger approach.

ManBot

Jeromy was a very handsome man. Unfortunately, Jeromy got into an accident and lost both his legs. After spending two years in a wheelchair, he learned about a new cybernetics program at a company called DoucheTech.

DoucheTech needed volunteers, all of whom lost the use of their legs, to participate in a study demonstrating how their new technology can enable those paraplegics to walk, run and jump again via surgically connected mechanical legs that communicate directly with the brain. Jeromy signed up for the study.

The study didn't turn out well for Jeromy. Let's just say that Jeromy is no longer a very handsome man. In fact, he is no longer Jeremy.

DoucheTech stock soared after they announced the completion of the study. The DoucheTech execs celebrated this by laying off 100 employees who "looked funny" and then going to a strip club.

GLORP

GLORP is the product of experimentation conducted on The SPIDE's home world.

Unlike the earth-based DoucheTech, who focuses on the fusion of people and machines, in The SPIDE's world they focused on the fusion of animals with other animals, including humans.

That's right! They managed to kidnap thousands of earthings to use for their chimeric abominations, having a particular interest in Spide-Human hybrids. GLORP is a disembodied cephalothorax that somehow left the lab prior to being completed. He is one of two of their test subjects who managed to escape and somehow ended up on earth.

Chumley

Chumley is another test subject who, along with GLORP, escaped the laboratories of The SPIDE's world and managed to get to earth. Unlike GLORP, Chumley is a full fledged SPIDE-Human hybrid, albeit without teeth.

Fun Fact - To make Chumley, 500 humans were sacrificed, of which only 10 were used.

Johnny Skewer

Nobody knows why Johnny Skewer is the way he is, only that he's always been that way and will likely never change.

He'd take a nerd's lunch money, follow him home, camp outside his house, then take his lunch money again as he left for school the next day.

Rumor has it that a representative from DoucheTech once tried to hire him to beat up a competitor. He took the money and beat up the representative.

SPIDE Characters